Stream of Thoughts …Goodby!

It’s funny – not funny  how others will put you in a box.  If I let others, they would want me to …

~ Be a leader for their own cause

They will throw me to the wolves

Because they see my gifts


They use and abuse

Some people will even set up situations

They call it…

“We set things up so you can tear them down.”

They call themselves pirates

I call them insecure


Alone they could not fight their cause

They need a leader

So they can point to when things go wrong

Um… thanks for telling me!

I don’t want to be part

Of your cause

It is not a cause

It is…

Use and abuse

Not a good feeling

This is why I wrote about John

He put me in a situation I didn’t ask for – or merit.

Somebody did…

There I was the effigy

A poster child for…

Deal with stress

Without drugs!

Letters to file

A poster child for…

Deal with stress

Without drugs!

Discontinued from service as a teacher…

A poster child for…

Deal with stress

Without drugs!

Tenure denied

A poster child for…

Deal with stress

Without drugs!

I’m glad I helped many people

Thank you for seeing my potential as a pirate

Difference is…

They needed me

I didn’t need them!

Noone was there during my difficulties

So what kind of cause is that?

It’s a ca………….use!

That is my life



Have come and gone

They, too…

Use and abuse



Were present

The cause


Would have made me abuse



Maybe that was their cause


During the journey

Not once… did anyone ask

“What can I do for you?”

Women and men make sure you find someone who is supportive of your needs, goals, and life.  Someone who is going to respect you as the loving and whole person you are.  A human being who is invested in your life(emotional and mental well -being).  Someone who makes you laugh – but doesn’t ridicule you.  Someone who embraces you as the person you are.

So many people assigned meaning to the title of my blog: “The Quest for the Knight of Cups.”  OOOhhh… what does it mean?

It represented the tarot card The Knight of Cups.  This gallant knight is carrying a cup full  of love and generosity.  It came to me – as my writing does – 14 years ago.  I was travelling around Europe and like magic it popped in my mind.  I put the title aside and knew it meant my own self-growth and self-awareness.  Even though I always had faith it meant searching for that special man.  We have not found each other – YET. 

But we will unite!

In this journey of Life I have found ME!!! I know that whatever man I attract, he will appreciate me even more for all the trials and tribulations Life has flung at me.  He will love me just the way I am.


Copyright 2013

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Scram Tax-Deferred Annuity!

New York City School Teachers

I advise you…

I implore you now…

Do not apply for tax-deferred annuity!

“It is a dream deferred

That dries up

Like a raisin in the sun.”

Foreign seas have captured my money!!!

Invested under a pseudonym

Tied up in international funds?

Upon my request

I am withdrawing

All of my money

60 days to receive my money?

60 days to wire Mr. Pseudonymn

Copyright 2013

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Strike the Con of Ed

Its been eleven days and counting! It occured at 11:00 a.m. on a colder than usual Fall morning. The brown kernels of rice were bathed in water and ready to eat. Blank! Silence. shock. Peace. Con Edison turned off the electricity. Okay, I get it. They didn’t turn off my electricity. I didn’t pay my bills. They mounted. They were gracious to mail me notices. Blank! There is no light in my life. That is what they think. When I would visit my grandmother in the D.R., I would observe how she maneuvered her way around the apartment. Outstretched arms serving as her cane. Head held up high…confident where she was going. She trained me for this day. I am also very organized. Therefore I have everything in its own place. My seventh sense guides around the apartment. Days are spent outdoors and when I come home I sleep. I refuse to buy candles. I actually am embracing not having electricity. It forces me to rise early and go to bed early. During those quiet moments of darkness, I commune with my grnadmother. She whispers: “The light is within you.” Besides, I transport my rice cooker to the laundry room and cook my mmmm…. soups. There is no light in my life… It was always within me. Suckers! Copyright 2013 Copy Sent to Personal Lawyer

The Lie of Lupus

I was angry at her for not fighting back! She should have fought back! It was circa 1990 – 1992.  My mother announced the diagnosis, just as when she diagnosed my monthly flow.  The words flatly rolled out of her tongue: “Your sister has lupus.”  What? I thought.  I hadn’t even heard of this condition. Yet it was distinctly visible in my sister.  Eyelids gorged with water.  Clamped hands.  Skeletal body filled with fat.  Or was this the effect of her medications?

Beach days were gone forever.  Ringlets of luscious hair would soon decorate her pillowcase.  A pixie cut would soon decorate her head forever.  She must have been in her late 20’s.  Her boyfriend had been her boyfriend for 8 years.  Consumed by work…by choice… it became her love affair.  Years later she would confess that it was a career that fell on her lap.  Fell on her lap? My mother, the ever present bundle of nerves, tried to convince her of alternative medicines.  I was angry at her! She didn’t even try these methods.  Lupus came at the right time.  It gave her this cushion to lean on.  As she always did when crossroads entered her life.  My theory: she was at an unhappy place in her life.  The symptoms began to manifest themselves physiologically.  Doctor’s appointment diagnoses lupus.  I was angry at her for not fighting back… and expecting others to do so!

Copyright 2013

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good things come in 3’s

Mama always said “Good things come in 3’s.”  Throughout the years I have gathered three word expressions… to invigorate it!


I Love You

Father, Son, Holy Spirit

I am me

You are you

Fish is Fish

Coke is it!

Round and Round

Till We Stop…

Change is Good

C’est la Vie


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LuLu ~ Pus

Body Weak

Called Fatigue

Cortisone  pumped  induced  release!

Life’s a mess

Call it stress

Cortisone  pumped  induced   release!





White Blood Cells


Cortisone  pumped  induced  release!

Life  Sex  a Bore

Social activities


Cortisone  pumped  induced  release!

Neurotica  Psychotica  Nervosica

Low Self-Esteem

Why is this happrening to me?

Life’s a Mess

Call it Stress

Cortisone  dumped  reduced 

New Lease…



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Changed Your Mind?

The next day I awoke


Buzzing thoughts

Circled in my mind

Winning smile


I never took a     s           ip! 


They should have asked

                 Do you

want to

                 Be drafted?” 




Final Answer

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Homage to John Revised

John was a tall towering man

I never saw him eat much

Then again…

I never saw much of him

Disguised woman perhaps

Another person getting paid

To do nothing

He loved to slobber women at work

A dog I say

Married man

Full of lies

Good by John!
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Drafted Beer

I went into a bar

This guy came up to me

He offered me drafted beer

Drafted beer

I don’t drink beer!

He coaxed me 


He whispered

A winning smile

I took a cautious sip

My head began spinning

People were mocking me

Everywhere I turned


Images of me

I faced them

Reflections of the past

Returning my own 


Like a boomerang

The man just laughed

A whisper reached my ear

You should





                  s        ip 


Copyright 2013

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